My Mission
Tracking the stars, engaging in the archetypes of the tarot, learning world mythologies—these are all simply ways of recognizing patterns in the universe. This publication is where I plan to process my many, many thoughts on this infinite topic, hopefully helping other people while gaining more knowledge (and dare I say…colleagues?) in the process.
And if you have an interest in purchasing a reading or service from me, head over to my Instagram, @ ponderfoxobscura or my website, The Ponder Fox Obscura :) !!
Me!
Hi! I’m Niki. I’m from Santa Fe, New Mexico and I’m a kitten parent, artist, writer, amateur astrologer, and aspiring occultist. I have a BA in World Literature and Religion from the affectionately-termed lesbian capital of the world (Smith College), but I’ve been interested in witchcraft and related topics since before I could form words to express them. My youth was an education in all varieties of worldly systems which stoked a passion in me that has only grown with time.
My biggest focus is mythology, because I love to understand human culture through its own eyes and the stories we have for ourselves; I’ve always been particularly interested in the ancients. I thus set out with Hellenistic Astrology when I turned to formal education, and I’ve been exceedingly pleased with the results my experimenting and learning has produced. It may be a practice less are familiar with (it’s usage peaked with the Roman Empire) but I find going back to the basics of where and when humans began to articulate and record these celestial patterns helps me to understand what they really mean and how they function.
So far I only have the one certification (from Chris Brennan’s Hellenistic Astrology course) but I certainly plan to expand my studies and continue digging deeper into the material I already have.
That said, I’m extremely proud of this initial accomplishment and I look forward to what the future may yet bring!
(I won’t put up the whole thing, cuz like, duh)
Why I’m Here
I’ve always been a writer–a shaper, or collector of stories at the very least. I did well enough in school but words were always where my focus lay, to the point I would sometimes get in trouble for reading a book under the desk while what I viewed as an irrelevant lesson was being taught before me. Part of it was sheer boredom, another part teenage rebellion, and another part desperation to prove myself somehow different, more committed to my chosen track than any other on that path; some manic pixie dream character made substance. So, I suppose this endeavor is dedicated to that teenager inside of me, who was so certain of my destiny outside the bounds of known limitation; confidant, audacious, even heretical enough to presume that I can weave my stories—or others’— in a way no one has ever done before.
The Story of the Pine Tree
I’m fascinated by the idea of sonder, the realization that everyone around you has a rich and varied story of their own, stories within stories. When I walk in woods and consider how long all of those trees have been there, what they might have seen, especially along well-worn human and animal paths, I wonder if they experience this awe. To me it seems likely that they absorb stories in the same way they do nutrients. Take them from their surface to their roots to release to their community and far beyond with the help of the intricate mycelium.
A couple years ago I made the unexpected decision to move back to the desert hometown I had left ten years before, at thirteen. When I arrived and looked out the window of my childhood bedroom, I was initially confused – I remembered looking often at the stars from that position, but now any sky was blocked by a tree. Suddenly it dawned on me that that tree – a ponderosa pine planted just a year or two after I was born – had been as small as I was at that time. Now it has grown into a magnificent and towering force of nature that touches the clouds and blocks the sky. This eureka occurred months after I’d already tattooed a pine tree on my sternum (the center of self-confidence and also, coincidentally, where I, as that small child, believed my soul resided) but it was not until that moment that I truly understood how the spirit of the pine in particular has been with me forever, holding my story.
The ponderosa is, in my opinion, a king among trees. Its needles are full and pungent, and my wilderness survival-guide father taught me to snap them in half and give the top a chew for the most refreshing and all-natural toothbrush you can imagine. And it’s not only able to grow ramrod straight toward the sky, towering even on the tallest of mountains, but it also possesses the most heavenly smelling bark of vanilla and forest musk. That fact was one people told you as a kid that seemed like a legend, but if you’ve ever smelled one, you know there’s no mistaking it. If humans could bottle it, we would call it ambrosia.
And the Fox
Foxes are beings in between worlds. They are neither canine nor feline, yet act and appear with characteristics of both. They are fierce when provoked, but mostly clever and calculating, weighing survival against pleasure-seeking at any moment’s notice. In many world mythologies, the fox acts as a messenger as well as a trickster, reminiscent of the Roman Mercury or Greek Hermes, slipping from one realm to the other with ease. I also see a parallel in how these gods act as escorts of the dead, instrumental in the transition from reality to the other/ underworld. A part of the process and yet separate and unaffected. In this way, the fox is the perfect representation of the occult storyteller.
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